Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Such an awesome read!! 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/06/there-is-something-liberating-about-letting-god-write-your-story/
Amen! Lord I give it all to you. You are in total control & I have complete faith in Your plan not my own. I will not rely on my own understandings, only what You show & tell me. Only on Your guidance.

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Very interesting article. “Do not conform to the ways of this world” 1st piece of scripture that came to my head just now after reading this.

<a href=”http://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/07/10-signs-its-time-to-let-someone-go/”>http://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/07/10-signs-its-time-to-let-someone-go/</a&gt;

Wishing I didn’t feel anything at all. Not to be confused. Not to have my heart breaking. Not to feel anxiety. It would just be so much easier. 

The urge to cut is strong but I am stronger. With the help of a confidant and friend in the Lord it is a bit more bearable. I just feel so “EMPTY”. 

Unwanted, unloved and lost. All that I knew and grew to open up and love too is no longer it seems. Its all just “EMPTY”. 


It’s come to the point of defeat. Life has hit ground zero and for whatever reason, I’m numb. Deactivation, seclusion, isolation is best for me. Checking out-literally from social existence. I’m praying for all those dealing with their struggles, valleys, depths of despair and moments of sunshine. Hang on to those sun shines; because they are what is going to pull us through the darkness. 

My health is struggling badly. Physically worse than mentally. I’m not looking for pity, not looking for anything honestly just need to have my one safe place, wordpress it is! No judgements no misunderstanding, no room for failure here right? Each and everyone of us bloggers especially mental health junkies, well, we get to hide behind a screen but accept and understand one another all just the same. I’ve missed blogging but haven’t been able to put my chaotic thoughts into words (obviously) for one to begin to understand so I just bottled it all up. And cut. Yeah I’m a cutter. Finally I have to admit it to myself. 

Damnit I want a mom, a dad, just one frieken person that doesn’t come conditionally. Trying to be a perfect person is exhausting especially when you know how broken physically and mentally you are. Trying to remind myself I was once really happy. Once super strong. Once not too long ago wasn’t plagued and had a chance at a future, maybe a family of my own since I certainly was robbed of that from the start. Now it’s all impossible. I’m tainted & can only thank God for my kids, and I guess the breath in my lungs. 

Tomorrow has got to be a better day. It has to be. It’s not possible to be a screw-up forever is it? Who knows maybe no longer existing socially for awhile will be cleansing. I was once told, “When you are not wanted, there is no longer need for your existence.” Choosing to love yourself through the shame and defeat is the hardest thing to do, but I refuse to die even though I may cry. Taking my life is not going to accomplish anything. 

Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be. It just has to be. 

  
“Love” is a strong word. It’s easy when it’s real. Genuine. Honest. It’s OBVIOUS, not confusing. Trust. Transparency. 

Not the opposite. 

Reblogged from The Conflict Analysis Blog:

P-personal and social responsibility Take control and responsibility for your actions, and work daily on personal development.

R-respect for others and self-discipline- You should have emotional stability, treat others with mutual respect, and live a healthy lifestyle.

I-integrity, ethics, & leadership- Display a high level of integrity in your life, work to improve the world around you, and develop personal leadership skills.

D-diversity and community- Engage the community, understand the cultural diversity of the population, and demonstrates the knowledge, skills, and abilities to engage with the ever-increasing world we live in.

E-expression and free exchange- Always be open to dialogue and free expression, remain open-minded, and strive to improve your critical and integrative thinking skills.”
This is an important concept to forever remind oneself of. Humility is a daily practice. I will always follow the pact to myself and God not hesitating to admit when I am at fault no matter how hard it is.

“Honesty is everything. Growth is the necessity.” – mistakenldy

The Conflict Analysis Blog

I will be the first to admit I am not perfect. I am stubborn, set in my ways, have a low tolerance for stupidity, dislike people with a lack of common sense, and liars. I try to live my life with dignity, and display a moral and ethical behavior I could look back on and feel good about when I die. However, I have let my pride get in my way of admitting when I am wrong or when I refuse to be challenged on a particular issue. How many times have you had a “discussion” with your significant other, co-worker, or boss, and you refused to give in, knowing there was a possibility you were in the wrong.

What is pride? I found a great definition from a Hofstra University student who was a key member of student engagement in and out of the classroom during their college career.

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Relationship Truth

There is always one.  One day. maybe. We all will have the chance again. 

Living with mental illness, surviving all the traumas. Odds seems so much less, everything in my world shattered. All because of me. Trying to see the light. The positivity. Grateful for the good, because there is. So much to smile about. 

Day by day, moment after moment. Praying. Doing the right thing. Solitude. Silence. Focus and growing while enduring the pain with a smile. Learning from each mistake made. Each experience, whether good or bad. Trying with all the might I have,  to be a better person. So this never happens again. Recover. Learn again. Push the pain away. Will it ever end?

What do you do when someone you love sits you down and hits you with something you cannot comprehend? How do you catch your breath and beat on your own heart hard enough to make it work again? How do you go on when someone rips life as you’ve known it right out from underneath […]

https://anewperspectiveperhaps.wordpress.com/2015/08/19/if-pain-could-speak/

Some people collect rare coins, or stamps, or ancient antiques.

Some fill their homes with exquisite jewels and vintage vinyl records; hearts swelling with pride as their trophies stagnate among swirling dust motes and the echo of past accolades.

Me, I’m a little different. I collect something infinitely more precious than anything I can buy or trade. I treasure soul mates.

I won’t love you immediately, I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish that I could, but I’m just not made that way. Some of you will never make it through the barriers of my heart. You won’t notice of course; you can’t miss what you have never had, and I don’t fancy myself so very important to your day-to-day life anyway.

I am a little magpie, whose eye is caught by the sparkle of certain souls. You will see me tilt my head to the side, looking at you, smiling through wry lips as I allow myself to see you. And once I do love you, I will move heaven and earth to adore you, no matter what, for as long as you allow me to.

You will never know a love like it.

I will keep you safely in my pocket and protect you fiercely. I will accept all of you: the light and the darkness. If I feel something beautiful in you, I will long to keep you forever. This is a double-edged sword, of course. “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I’m the first to admit that I’m not very good at letting go of my treasured ones when the time comes, even when it is best for us both. Even though I understand that not everyone we meet is destined to be in our lives forever.

Logically, I understand. Emotionally, it hurts like hell.

Grief will render me senseless.

I will weep, and yell and, sometimes, I will behave badly. Forgive me please. Pain will do that to a person. It means that you have had such an impact on my life that I struggle to imagine what shape I will take without you. It means that I do not want to live in a world where we don’t talk everyday, and where your smile doesn’t light up my life on a regular basis.

It means that I don’t feel ready to say goodbye, even though it might be time.

Maybe you came to me because I was struggling, as angels often do, to share the heavy load that weighed on my heart. You wiped my tears away, softly soothed back my hair and let me know that everything would be okay, someday.

Perhaps you came to teach me about myself, about who I really am. To show me how to be strong, how to embrace the natural beauty of our world, and how to use it to inspire my creations. You gave me a piece of yourself to forever reflect within me and I truly love you for that.

I believe that I brought something to your life too; that we changed each other in ways that can never be undone, leaving footprints on each other’s soul to cherish. Yet, it appears we have taught each other all that we can for the moment.

We have shared our last sunset together and our laughter is a memory that resonates fondly in my heart.

This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore, far from it. In fact, we love each other enough to want the other to continue their journey onwards through life, to new adventures and growth, and new soul mates with different lessons—knowing that they can always reach out to us with trembling hands in turbulent times.

Every time we let go, we make space for new and beautiful things to enter our lives. One door closes, and another is waiting to show us to fresh marvels, if we are brave enough to open it.

I am learning to hold on with gratitude to all that I learn from my soul mates, to cherish the time that we shared and to let them go if the time is right, without regret. I realize now that we must love with abandon, giving our hearts fully and freely, even knowing that one day it might hurt us badly.

The fact that love is not guaranteed forever makes it all the more precious.

Let’s treasure that.

JoJo Rawden

Reblogging this perfect quote that touched my soul & deep in my heart at the very moment I needed to read it most. Hope this touches any one that needs it too. X

tellingheavysecrets

Today’s chosen quote is one from my favourite Sufi poet. His words give me comfort on many a day. They soothe the places deep inside that hurt.

the wound

This is a profound quote which for me means that the places I am most wounded contain also the seeds of my liberation.

They are a way back to myself! We have to face our past and the demons that we have within us, in whatever shape or form they are. Once we have the courage to decide to do this, we become liberated from all the shame and the pull of the past and are able to allow the light in.

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