Posts Tagged ‘mental abuse’

Reblogging this perfect quote that touched my soul & deep in my heart at the very moment I needed to read it most. Hope this touches any one that needs it too. X

tellingheavysecrets

Today’s chosen quote is one from my favourite Sufi poet. His words give me comfort on many a day. They soothe the places deep inside that hurt.

the wound

This is a profound quote which for me means that the places I am most wounded contain also the seeds of my liberation.

They are a way back to myself! We have to face our past and the demons that we have within us, in whatever shape or form they are. Once we have the courage to decide to do this, we become liberated from all the shame and the pull of the past and are able to allow the light in.

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I heard this on a video clip for one of my online career classes today. Pretty interesting concept when you break down what “FEAR” actually may be.  This is what the narrator said he believes FEAR is for most people whether it means in their personal or professional life. Being that I suffer from severe PTSD/C-PTSD, I must chose to be optomistic when it comes to my career & professional life as well as my personal life. These are very hard concepts for me at times. Sometimes. Easier than others.

The point I am trying to make is this; look at the word. Think about what you are most afraid of. Then look at this breakdown. Are you contemplating your fears any differently?

Those of us who live and survive through mental struggles, whether you call it an illness, a disorder, are diagnosed, or undiagnosed, this little tool may be helpful in your daily journey. I plan to recite this a few times each day for the next 7 days any time I feel “fearful” of something. No matter what it is. Hopefully, this will help others too.

SCREW FEAR! 

The point of the photo is that we start down low with that FEAR holding us closest to the ground, dark, not too welcoming. When breaking the word down by letter and concept, putting things into clearer perspective, well…..it gets lighter, brighter and the sky is the limit. Just saying. 

In our world (battling w/ mental illness) those of use who have survived a suicide attempt; knowing deeply what it means, wanting, believing no longer existing is the only thing that will stop the pain. Not only of oneself but those around us. An unfortunate reality. This innate darkness. It. Is real. 
Friends are a blessing. True, genuine friends are a must. Loved ones. A must. Unconditional love, no question asked. No word too hard. Too much. All a definite must. This is what people like me need. Bringing us back to surface. 

We get to this place of darkness for one or many reasons (triggers if you may) that feel, seem, believe are unbearable. They are not. 

It. 

Is. 

Real. 

Stress can only be held inside, buried so deep, until it surfaces & erupts. 
For awhile I have pondered the perplexity of my loved ones happiness in excess of my own nonexistence. Feeling it would be vast. Abundant. This is not true. I had to have a reality check once again in order to NOT completely lose myself. 

So here it is:

I’ve had so much loss in death around me over the last several months. Over abundance of stress. BUT. Key word here. BUT. My children, God’s beautiful children He blessed me w/ on earth; they NEED me. They love me.  A roof over our heads.  A new running, reliable vehicle when there was no light for the truck driven before Monday. My Grandmother. The most selfless, honorable woman on this planet. Loving & excepting me as I am. A team in med school much needed to get through this mentally challenging chapter to reach the ultimate goal. Friends. Real true friends that care, respect, unjudging of my flaws. And last but definitely NOT least a partner. A man to share the smiles, laughter, pain, sweat, tears & adventure of life with. Each of us pray and/or hope for these treasures in our days of life at one point or another. I have been blessed. 

Last night I broke. It took too much out of me. I fell down. Weak. Dispared. My boyfriend; he helped me. Saved my life not even knowing. I had a plan. It made sense. Eliminate myself from the painful equation & all will be well for those closest to my heart. No more me dissapointing them. Making the wrong decisions. Saying & doing the wrong things at the wrong times. They would have peace b/c I would no longer be in order for there to be issue. Of any kind. 
The sweet innocent eyes of my children, the encouraging words of my little girl, “Momma I love you & you ARE perfect.” The man that reminds me daily of his depth, sincerity & honor of me as his woman. My person, not another can compare or begin to understand the bond & connection she & I have reminding me she loves me & cant exist without me. Friends. Male and female, Iron Maidens being the life line at the darkest lowest moments enforcing they have seen my strength. “I wont’t accept that as an option, you killing yourself.”my dear friend said today.  “Don’t even think that!” boyfriend said to me last night. 

It all is what save me from giving up. Saved me from my demons. Taking my life….oh how easy it would have been but the aftermath? The aftermath…..no one deserved. Therefore I chose to live.

“You are ridiculously in charge of your life.”- Henry Cloud

Very good list of Boundaries! I may not suffer with PPS but these are definitely what helped me during the last several years of healing and getting to the healthy me I lost sight of for a little bit. I allowed stress & anxiety to overwhelm me & lost focus. These are great tools Annie thanks for posting!

GentleKindness

What does it mean to set boundaries?The entire concept of setting boundaries is something that those of us with People Pleaser Syndrome did not grow up with. Most of us with people pleaser syndrome, grew up in mentally abusive households and we were not taught about setting boundaries, as a natural developmental course of our upbringing.

The idea of boundary setting can be confusing. Here are some things that I have learned as an adult, that I did not learn growing up. I was the same as you, and I did not understand the need to set boundaries, what they were , or how to set them.

What are boundaries?Boundaries are limits. They are limits of what you will do and  what you will tolerate from others.

One example of a boundary would be a teenager who was still a virgin and she has set a boundary…

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Moments to remind ourselves when we are low. “She” can be replaced with “He” for all you guys too

I am so in the mindset of a male in many ways, there are moments when I wonder if I’m crazy. Is it really possible to be this open minded? Black and white? Boxes for thoughts for lack of better explanation.

Women are sensitive and emotional creatures. Yes. I am one too no discredit to that. In my daily struggles with PTSD, Anxiety, ADHD, depression & BPD traits there is still this one place where I KNOW truth. I have made mistakes but thinking overkill in certain important people in my current life isn’t one of them.

Women have this unintentional way of taking things ao very wrong and blowing it all out of proportion. At times myself included. No buts. No excuses. It’s just reality. However, it is extremely difficult and hurtful when it feels to me like drama. I try to remember each person for who they are and have shown themselves to be. What their daily struggles are and not discount that. Give grace and patience no matter how hard at the moment.

I choose to take responsibility for my faults. Correct my wrongs. Make a mistake ONE time not over & over. But I will refuse to if it’s not true. It pushes me away but I will win the battle and not give up reminding myself I am true to my word with actions shown.

God please grant me the wisdom and patience I need as well as all others dealing with situations of their own today.

So very true. Getting back to the me I am supposed to be now.

http://youtu.be/6KS-1qYZLRM?list=PLDYlwid6-JAKYHIMkIITVCemYtSXPmrezDepression and Dissociation
Been drinking for 4days. Know I shouldnt be. Doesnt make any difference. Alone is all I see.