Posts Tagged ‘Domestic Violence’

This is so hard to post, contrary to general belief. I have never had to reach out to others and community for help like this. I am still in shock that life is at the point it has come to. Literally takes everything in me day to day not to throw my hands up in the air and just keep my faith grounded. I know we have to trust in the Lord and let Him handle the things we can not control on our own. To all who can relate and are dealing with the same conditions and/or illnesses; please KNOW you are not alone ever. There is always someone near you would have never imagined is in the amount of excruciating pain and suffering just because we look ok on the outside. Just getting out of bed in the morning and getting back into it at night is a struggle.

I have recently been diagnosed with two autoimmune disorders; Fibromyalgia and Ankylosing Spondylitis. Both of which I have been suffering from for years. I was misdiagnosed and treated for chronic pain (non-narcotic). Lupus runs in my family, the little bit I have learned from the only person I am very close to, my beautiful Grandmother. This is the very first time I am stepping out of my comfort zone and posting as personal as I am. Names, my children and I’s picture. It’s a scary step and attempt but bravery is the choice I have at this point. Thank you to all who take the time to read through this post.

picture of people sitting

Me & My Kids

Hi!

Thank you for taking your time to read My Story & for Sharing it on social media, Liking, and for your support..


My Story

Hello. I am a single mother of three children (one of whom I adopted), and am in dire need of a personal vehicle. Here is a brief account of my circumstances:

After rounds of hopeless tests to explain the physical pain I have endured for years, I was recently diagnosed with two autoimmune diseases – Fibromyalgia, which causes magnified pain throughout my entire body, and Ankylosing Spondylitis, which causes unbearable back pain. These both make my life physically painful, nearly impossible to endure, and I struggle with this pain daily. After also being diagnosed with Endometriosis (a uterine and pelvic disorder), I had a Hysterectomy, and three weeks after the surgery, am still enduring a painful recovery.

Because I am a domestic violence survivor, I also struggle each day with PTSD and severe Anxiety. To deal with my emotional trauma, I have weekly mental health therapy with my psychologist, and meet monthly with my psychiatrist for my prescriptions.

Before my physical diagnoses, I put myself through school and found a job as a Medical Assistant. But because of frequent doctors’ appointments, I was let go from my job several months later.

To provide for my family, I attempted to start a work-from-home business with a church acquaintance who provided the financing for the venture.

With my numerous doctor’s appointments and recent operation, my partner took the business opportunity away from me, along with the company Honda Pilot, which he paid for in full and had given to me. This was my family’s sole source of transportation.

Because I am unable to find an employer that understands and works with my limitations, I am on my third attempt in applying for disability, and am now in the process of waiting for the appeal.

Living with my physical and mental conditions has made regular life hard enough. With the loss of the vehicle I have relied upon, day-to-day life has become next to impossible. Relying on my faith, along with the unconditional love and support of my boyfriend, I have had help with much-needed transportation – for doctors’ appointments, therapy, picking up my prescriptions, and grocery shopping to name a few things.

Anchored to my faith, I always believe the Lord provides. I have peace that He will provide a solution to my dilemma of not having a vehicle, and look at this opportunity-of-a-lifetime as one of His answers.

https://www.gofundme.com/wright-4auto

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Originally Posted on MINDS LIKE OURS :

I found this website below to have a lot of useful worksheets: Tons of Therapy Worksheets are located here

Source: Worksheets

 

 

Anxiety Girl

Ocassionaly this is me. So accurately. Praying hard for no more than God’s grace & mercy. Deep breath. No less, it shall all pass.”-mistakenldy

PTSD fact

Here explains having no words.

Trauma Tree

Some people collect rare coins, or stamps, or ancient antiques.

Some fill their homes with exquisite jewels and vintage vinyl records; hearts swelling with pride as their trophies stagnate among swirling dust motes and the echo of past accolades.

Me, I’m a little different. I collect something infinitely more precious than anything I can buy or trade. I treasure soul mates.

I won’t love you immediately, I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish that I could, but I’m just not made that way. Some of you will never make it through the barriers of my heart. You won’t notice of course; you can’t miss what you have never had, and I don’t fancy myself so very important to your day-to-day life anyway.

I am a little magpie, whose eye is caught by the sparkle of certain souls. You will see me tilt my head to the side, looking at you, smiling through wry lips as I allow myself to see you. And once I do love you, I will move heaven and earth to adore you, no matter what, for as long as you allow me to.

You will never know a love like it.

I will keep you safely in my pocket and protect you fiercely. I will accept all of you: the light and the darkness. If I feel something beautiful in you, I will long to keep you forever. This is a double-edged sword, of course. “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I’m the first to admit that I’m not very good at letting go of my treasured ones when the time comes, even when it is best for us both. Even though I understand that not everyone we meet is destined to be in our lives forever.

Logically, I understand. Emotionally, it hurts like hell.

Grief will render me senseless.

I will weep, and yell and, sometimes, I will behave badly. Forgive me please. Pain will do that to a person. It means that you have had such an impact on my life that I struggle to imagine what shape I will take without you. It means that I do not want to live in a world where we don’t talk everyday, and where your smile doesn’t light up my life on a regular basis.

It means that I don’t feel ready to say goodbye, even though it might be time.

Maybe you came to me because I was struggling, as angels often do, to share the heavy load that weighed on my heart. You wiped my tears away, softly soothed back my hair and let me know that everything would be okay, someday.

Perhaps you came to teach me about myself, about who I really am. To show me how to be strong, how to embrace the natural beauty of our world, and how to use it to inspire my creations. You gave me a piece of yourself to forever reflect within me and I truly love you for that.

I believe that I brought something to your life too; that we changed each other in ways that can never be undone, leaving footprints on each other’s soul to cherish. Yet, it appears we have taught each other all that we can for the moment.

We have shared our last sunset together and our laughter is a memory that resonates fondly in my heart.

This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore, far from it. In fact, we love each other enough to want the other to continue their journey onwards through life, to new adventures and growth, and new soul mates with different lessons—knowing that they can always reach out to us with trembling hands in turbulent times.

Every time we let go, we make space for new and beautiful things to enter our lives. One door closes, and another is waiting to show us to fresh marvels, if we are brave enough to open it.

I am learning to hold on with gratitude to all that I learn from my soul mates, to cherish the time that we shared and to let them go if the time is right, without regret. I realize now that we must love with abandon, giving our hearts fully and freely, even knowing that one day it might hurt us badly.

The fact that love is not guaranteed forever makes it all the more precious.

Let’s treasure that.

JoJo Rawden

Reblogging this perfect quote that touched my soul & deep in my heart at the very moment I needed to read it most. Hope this touches any one that needs it too. X

tellingheavysecrets

Today’s chosen quote is one from my favourite Sufi poet. His words give me comfort on many a day. They soothe the places deep inside that hurt.

the wound

This is a profound quote which for me means that the places I am most wounded contain also the seeds of my liberation.

They are a way back to myself! We have to face our past and the demons that we have within us, in whatever shape or form they are. Once we have the courage to decide to do this, we become liberated from all the shame and the pull of the past and are able to allow the light in.

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“You are ridiculously in charge of your life.”- Henry Cloud

People will be just that. People. We will be just that. People.

Every last one of us has many sides, if you may, to who we are. Some good. Some bad. Some intended. Some certainly not. One thing we all have in common? We all make mistakes. What makes all the difference is how we handle those mistakes. A mistake is only a mistake when made the first time and the lesson is learned. After that it becomes a choice.

Over the last several months I have been faced with many changes (I don’t necessarily do so well with change just FYI). Through all these changes there has been good and bad. I choose to be a happy person pulling myelf out of the slump chosen to be in for 4 days. Taking time to myself to reflect on the trials and tribulations and intense levels of stress turning to silence and God was the best thing I could have done. Some people make promises they can’t keep. Others follow through. Point being it has nothing to do with you. What other people think of me is none of my business.

When we care about ourselves first, are confident in the beautiful soul we are; life comes back full term to what we lost sight of in midst of the choas around us. Working on DBT book, reading further on my PTSD and going to therapy makes a world of difference. Moments of peace and clarity are the beautifully unique moments each of us needs to recenter and get back to the healthy state we were in before all the chaos started again. I will not allow others to determine my smile, inside or out. I will NOT allow people from my past to burden my state of mind effecting life of today any further. The beauty of knowing it is all still here within me is all that matters and those people and things are not as big as God or me. 🙂

Whatever you may be battling with from day to day I hope this may bring you sunshine in the darkness and hope to the future of your brightness. It’s in there we just have to dig it back up.

Couldn’t have stated any of these better! Stress in high levels only makes it all more intense.

Thought Catalog

ave via Summer

1. Things that seem completely “normal” to you can be very stressful for us. Everybody feels anxious about the lingering uncertainties in their lives, over tensions with friends or decisions that need be made, but we often feel anxious about the things that don’t logically warrant concern. That’s what makes it a problem. That’s the first thing you have to understand: we know it’s not rational, but that doesn’t make it unreal to us.

2. Things that seem completely “fun” to you tend to be even more so. What you think of as the Best Time Ever is often a combination of our most triggering situations: crowded rooms of strangers, social settings where we feel displaced, doing anything illegal or risky even… I could go on. The point is: we have a very different concept of “fun,” as there’s little joy to be had for us in a…

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