Posts Tagged ‘Domestic Abuse’

Originally Posted on MINDS LIKE OURS :

I found this website below to have a lot of useful worksheets: Tons of Therapy Worksheets are located here

Source: Worksheets

 

 

Some people collect rare coins, or stamps, or ancient antiques.

Some fill their homes with exquisite jewels and vintage vinyl records; hearts swelling with pride as their trophies stagnate among swirling dust motes and the echo of past accolades.

Me, I’m a little different. I collect something infinitely more precious than anything I can buy or trade. I treasure soul mates.

I won’t love you immediately, I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish that I could, but I’m just not made that way. Some of you will never make it through the barriers of my heart. You won’t notice of course; you can’t miss what you have never had, and I don’t fancy myself so very important to your day-to-day life anyway.

I am a little magpie, whose eye is caught by the sparkle of certain souls. You will see me tilt my head to the side, looking at you, smiling through wry lips as I allow myself to see you. And once I do love you, I will move heaven and earth to adore you, no matter what, for as long as you allow me to.

You will never know a love like it.

I will keep you safely in my pocket and protect you fiercely. I will accept all of you: the light and the darkness. If I feel something beautiful in you, I will long to keep you forever. This is a double-edged sword, of course. “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I’m the first to admit that I’m not very good at letting go of my treasured ones when the time comes, even when it is best for us both. Even though I understand that not everyone we meet is destined to be in our lives forever.

Logically, I understand. Emotionally, it hurts like hell.

Grief will render me senseless.

I will weep, and yell and, sometimes, I will behave badly. Forgive me please. Pain will do that to a person. It means that you have had such an impact on my life that I struggle to imagine what shape I will take without you. It means that I do not want to live in a world where we don’t talk everyday, and where your smile doesn’t light up my life on a regular basis.

It means that I don’t feel ready to say goodbye, even though it might be time.

Maybe you came to me because I was struggling, as angels often do, to share the heavy load that weighed on my heart. You wiped my tears away, softly soothed back my hair and let me know that everything would be okay, someday.

Perhaps you came to teach me about myself, about who I really am. To show me how to be strong, how to embrace the natural beauty of our world, and how to use it to inspire my creations. You gave me a piece of yourself to forever reflect within me and I truly love you for that.

I believe that I brought something to your life too; that we changed each other in ways that can never be undone, leaving footprints on each other’s soul to cherish. Yet, it appears we have taught each other all that we can for the moment.

We have shared our last sunset together and our laughter is a memory that resonates fondly in my heart.

This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore, far from it. In fact, we love each other enough to want the other to continue their journey onwards through life, to new adventures and growth, and new soul mates with different lessons—knowing that they can always reach out to us with trembling hands in turbulent times.

Every time we let go, we make space for new and beautiful things to enter our lives. One door closes, and another is waiting to show us to fresh marvels, if we are brave enough to open it.

I am learning to hold on with gratitude to all that I learn from my soul mates, to cherish the time that we shared and to let them go if the time is right, without regret. I realize now that we must love with abandon, giving our hearts fully and freely, even knowing that one day it might hurt us badly.

The fact that love is not guaranteed forever makes it all the more precious.

Let’s treasure that.

JoJo Rawden

Reblogging this perfect quote that touched my soul & deep in my heart at the very moment I needed to read it most. Hope this touches any one that needs it too. X

tellingheavysecrets

Today’s chosen quote is one from my favourite Sufi poet. His words give me comfort on many a day. They soothe the places deep inside that hurt.

the wound

This is a profound quote which for me means that the places I am most wounded contain also the seeds of my liberation.

They are a way back to myself! We have to face our past and the demons that we have within us, in whatever shape or form they are. Once we have the courage to decide to do this, we become liberated from all the shame and the pull of the past and are able to allow the light in.

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Well, it’s been a long few months. Very trying at times some more than others. Finally! Got in for my meds appointment.

Starting on Wellbutrin and Buspar as of today. Looking for thoughts, perspectives, input. Anyone? Throw it at me please.

This is supposed to help with depression, anxiety, & insomnia. All of my battles & diagnoses steming from PTSD & severe lengths of trauma. Just want to know what others have taken these for & how it helped or didn’t help 🙂 thanks for reading & giving me your thoughts my wordpress people!

Moments to remind ourselves when we are low. “She” can be replaced with “He” for all you guys too

So very true. Getting back to the me I am supposed to be now.

once-a-victim-now-a-survivor-award

Once a Victim ~ Now a Survivor Award

I  would like to thank Surviving the Specter  who nominated my blog for this award. This award is for those who have gone through mental illness of any kind, abuse, trauma, and especially PTSD. Here are the rules:

  1. Thank the blogger that nominated you
  2. Nominate 7 or more bloggers whom you feel deserve the award
  3. Post 5 questions for your nominees to answer (you may use the same as these below)
  4. Inform your nominees and post a comment in their blog to let them know they’ve been nominated

The questions for me were the following:

When did you start your blog and what inspired you? 

I started blogging a few months ago after I was introduced to it and given the great suggestion to do so. Blogging is a safe place for me. My inspiration was the incredible community connection for Mental Illness. I am a Domestic Violence, trauma, and Suicide survivor and have been greatly impacted by the enormous amount of support we all share on here.

What types of blogs do you follow?

I follow mostly blogs that have to do with trauma, PTSD, depression, suicide survivors, Domestic Violence, Anxiety etc. A few blogs have come across my reader or suggestions that are totally unrelated to mental illness that I enjoy reading.

How many revisions does it take before you push the publish button?

Ha! Probably atleast 5.

What’s the best thing about you and what have you learned from blogging? 

Right now probably isn’t the best time for me to be answering this question but I’ll try anyway. I am an extremely open minded & nonjudgemental woman. I have been told I am a rare breed & how important it is to be so unique. I have learned there are so many other surivivors of suicide and people just like me living with mental illness. I really don’t consider it an “illness” because generally speaking we are all much more intelligent and have so much more to offer than the world gives us the chance for.

Do you have other blogs?

Yes. I started a blog on Tumbler about 2 months prior to WordPress and one on Google. I don’t keep up on either of them regularly.

Here are the inspiring bloggers that I nominate:

Surviving the Specter

The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

Rose with Thorns

Gentle Kindness

And here are their questions:

  1. When did you start your blog and what inspired you? 
  2. What types of blogs do you follow?
  3. How many revisions does it take before you push the publish button?
  4. What’s the best thing about you and what have you learned from blogging? 
  5. Do you have other blogs?

This is spot on to the emotional & mental abuse I endured for years. Learning all of the aspects listed in this post were important when I was healing. Escaping the aftermath takes much longer than majority of people realize. Please take time to read this post and open your minds to further understand domestic violence survivors & how our brains function after trauma. Hoping this helps others understand, gives the hope needed to anyone in these current situations 🙂

GentleKindness

Inherent to being in any type of abusive relationship, is the illusion. The illusion is the false reality which the abuser feeds to the victim. The victim accepts this reality for a few reasons, mainly in an attempt to protect their own sanity.

The reality was fed to the victim through the use of brainwashing tactics. At first the controlling party gave the subordinate the feeling that they had control and that they were making their own choices. The abuser gave them a false sense of confidence and safety in the relationship.

This false confidence came in the form of praise and the appearance of concern for the victim. The abuser put the victim on a pedestal and made them feel that they were needed. The abuser may have acted as though they were actually the one that was in the position of submission to the victim.

The abuser…

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Welcome to My Safe Place

Hello and thank you for taking the time to join me. I have suffered from PTSD for years. My PTSD is a result of emotional & mental abuse as a child – physical, sexual, and mental abuse endured during past intimate relationships. My blog is randomly written as I am finding the way to put my thoughts into words while attempting to learn how to blog. My posts are random acts of expression in order to stop suppressing the constant screaming in my mind. I am trying to find my way, while helping others living like me. I am in the process on finding a comfortable structure for myself as well as my readers, and apologize if things seem disjointed at first.

My Story

After many bouts of long days, no sleep, and consistent chaos, my whole being is ready to shut down.

Deep breathe.

Check my tone of voice. Check my words. Its like pulling my feet one by one with all my strength to get each word calmly out of my mouth to anyone around me. While doing my very best to decipher the words of responses to any and all stimuli. I do it. I respond. It’s delayed and doesn’t always portray the intelligent individual bottled up, but at least it’s a response.

Inside. Well inside.

I am screaming for it all to stop. My soul is screaming. My body is stuck. Feet in the quick sand, fighting with all its might not to run away as fast as possible. Run from the noise, the stress, the chaos of emotions and uncontrollable tears wanting to burst from my eyes every passing millisecond.

My mind racing, screaming at the top of my lungs, “Dear God please make things normal. Please make the vicious cycle of negativity, manipulation, hurt, physical and mental pains encircling us, God just make it STOP!”

My heart racing, muscles tensing, flashes of the fights, the physical beatings and emotional beat downs, rushing back. Hearing that voice over and over and over again. Feeling like a failure. Nothing is ever enough. The constant shift from one of their little souls to another, saying and doing all the things from learned behaviors of our abuser. The gentle, calm approach to the subject of issue having zero penetration to the hard shell of misunderstanding and hurt. Zero effect to the positive outcome. All they know is to argue, keep pushing with words, push Momma until she finally raises her voice or cries. That’s what Daddy did.

I fight to stay silent. Fight harder to stay calm, say the gentle words they need to hear, fight the hardest to quiet the screaming inside of my head, reliving the putrid words flashing like a neon sign across my forehead. Fight to find the strength not to collapse in tears or run for dear life. Asking for God to please, please give me understanding and see through their innocent eyes. Give me the way with Him to break this awful cycle destroying our smiles, their smiles. Our so deserving smiles.

The road is long but certainly possible. Sometimes feeling like it will never get better but knowing with God’s grace, it will. I am learning to silence the beast of pain. Trusting that the persistance of positivity will quiet the screaming going on within. Thank God their beautiful selves can’t hear the screaming or read it on the pages upon pages we lived through in the past 10 years, shuffling through my head.

Staying silent while the screaming goes on, is mastering the mind of PTSD.

Thank you for visiting my safe place and taking your time to join me. I’m looking forward to having a dialogue about our experiences.

How have you dealt with PTSD in your own life?