Posts Tagged ‘ADHD’

This is so hard to post, contrary to general belief. I have never had to reach out to others and community for help like this. I am still in shock that life is at the point it has come to. Literally takes everything in me day to day not to throw my hands up in the air and just keep my faith grounded. I know we have to trust in the Lord and let Him handle the things we can not control on our own. To all who can relate and are dealing with the same conditions and/or illnesses; please KNOW you are not alone ever. There is always someone near you would have never imagined is in the amount of excruciating pain and suffering just because we look ok on the outside. Just getting out of bed in the morning and getting back into it at night is a struggle.

I have recently been diagnosed with two autoimmune disorders; Fibromyalgia and Ankylosing Spondylitis. Both of which I have been suffering from for years. I was misdiagnosed and treated for chronic pain (non-narcotic). Lupus runs in my family, the little bit I have learned from the only person I am very close to, my beautiful Grandmother. This is the very first time I am stepping out of my comfort zone and posting as personal as I am. Names, my children and I’s picture. It’s a scary step and attempt but bravery is the choice I have at this point. Thank you to all who take the time to read through this post.

picture of people sitting

Me & My Kids

Hi!

Thank you for taking your time to read My Story & for Sharing it on social media, Liking, and for your support..


My Story

Hello. I am a single mother of three children (one of whom I adopted), and am in dire need of a personal vehicle. Here is a brief account of my circumstances:

After rounds of hopeless tests to explain the physical pain I have endured for years, I was recently diagnosed with two autoimmune diseases – Fibromyalgia, which causes magnified pain throughout my entire body, and Ankylosing Spondylitis, which causes unbearable back pain. These both make my life physically painful, nearly impossible to endure, and I struggle with this pain daily. After also being diagnosed with Endometriosis (a uterine and pelvic disorder), I had a Hysterectomy, and three weeks after the surgery, am still enduring a painful recovery.

Because I am a domestic violence survivor, I also struggle each day with PTSD and severe Anxiety. To deal with my emotional trauma, I have weekly mental health therapy with my psychologist, and meet monthly with my psychiatrist for my prescriptions.

Before my physical diagnoses, I put myself through school and found a job as a Medical Assistant. But because of frequent doctors’ appointments, I was let go from my job several months later.

To provide for my family, I attempted to start a work-from-home business with a church acquaintance who provided the financing for the venture.

With my numerous doctor’s appointments and recent operation, my partner took the business opportunity away from me, along with the company Honda Pilot, which he paid for in full and had given to me. This was my family’s sole source of transportation.

Because I am unable to find an employer that understands and works with my limitations, I am on my third attempt in applying for disability, and am now in the process of waiting for the appeal.

Living with my physical and mental conditions has made regular life hard enough. With the loss of the vehicle I have relied upon, day-to-day life has become next to impossible. Relying on my faith, along with the unconditional love and support of my boyfriend, I have had help with much-needed transportation – for doctors’ appointments, therapy, picking up my prescriptions, and grocery shopping to name a few things.

Anchored to my faith, I always believe the Lord provides. I have peace that He will provide a solution to my dilemma of not having a vehicle, and look at this opportunity-of-a-lifetime as one of His answers.

https://www.gofundme.com/wright-4auto

Advertisements

It’s come to the point of defeat. Life has hit ground zero and for whatever reason, I’m numb. Deactivation, seclusion, isolation is best for me. Checking out-literally from social existence. I’m praying for all those dealing with their struggles, valleys, depths of despair and moments of sunshine. Hang on to those sun shines; because they are what is going to pull us through the darkness. 

My health is struggling badly. Physically worse than mentally. I’m not looking for pity, not looking for anything honestly just need to have my one safe place, wordpress it is! No judgements no misunderstanding, no room for failure here right? Each and everyone of us bloggers especially mental health junkies, well, we get to hide behind a screen but accept and understand one another all just the same. I’ve missed blogging but haven’t been able to put my chaotic thoughts into words (obviously) for one to begin to understand so I just bottled it all up. And cut. Yeah I’m a cutter. Finally I have to admit it to myself. 

Damnit I want a mom, a dad, just one frieken person that doesn’t come conditionally. Trying to be a perfect person is exhausting especially when you know how broken physically and mentally you are. Trying to remind myself I was once really happy. Once super strong. Once not too long ago wasn’t plagued and had a chance at a future, maybe a family of my own since I certainly was robbed of that from the start. Now it’s all impossible. I’m tainted & can only thank God for my kids, and I guess the breath in my lungs. 

Tomorrow has got to be a better day. It has to be. It’s not possible to be a screw-up forever is it? Who knows maybe no longer existing socially for awhile will be cleansing. I was once told, “When you are not wanted, there is no longer need for your existence.” Choosing to love yourself through the shame and defeat is the hardest thing to do, but I refuse to die even though I may cry. Taking my life is not going to accomplish anything. 

Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be. It just has to be. 

  

Relationship Truth

There is always one.  One day. maybe. We all will have the chance again. 

Living with mental illness, surviving all the traumas. Odds seems so much less, everything in my world shattered. All because of me. Trying to see the light. The positivity. Grateful for the good, because there is. So much to smile about. 

Day by day, moment after moment. Praying. Doing the right thing. Solitude. Silence. Focus and growing while enduring the pain with a smile. Learning from each mistake made. Each experience, whether good or bad. Trying with all the might I have,  to be a better person. So this never happens again. Recover. Learn again. Push the pain away. Will it ever end?

Originally Posted on MINDS LIKE OURS :

I found this website below to have a lot of useful worksheets: Tons of Therapy Worksheets are located here

Source: Worksheets

 

 

Anxiety Girl

Ocassionaly this is me. So accurately. Praying hard for no more than God’s grace & mercy. Deep breath. No less, it shall all pass.”-mistakenldy

PTSD fact

Here explains having no words.

Trauma Tree

IMG_2968.PNG

“Before I got here, I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it did not exist, to build a small, self-sufficient world in the back corner of the endless maze and to pretend that I was not lost, but home.”  -John Green

Days it’s been; unable to find words for my thoughts. Today a bit harder than the rest. Prayer is it. All that I have. Why? I don’t know. Waiting for the storm to pass. It has to. Moments in the depth of defeat feeling like my feet, then legs, risen to my waist in the quicksand. Some days better than others but the strength is wearing thin. God can do this. He will get back in, making the weight lift from within. I can do this. I’m strong. I will defeat the dark. My soul to rise once again.

Breathe