Archive for the ‘Poem’ Category

Stay put don’t cut. Stay put don’t drink.

Don’t drive or wreck. 

Just be still & let it pass. 

Write it out…….I hate myself. Ruin the good creating unnecessary hurt. No therapy for going on almost 3months? Maybe. Yeah so I tried as much as I could. They said no. 

honest. Calm. Quiet. Genuinely tried. Failure. 

Wanting to cut. Hard. Harder than the last. Embarrassed. Ashamed. What happened to my strength? 

Stupid. “Insane.” Will never be good enough again. This is it, Me. 

The alcohol will make it numb. Not worth the risk. Wait is it. Maybe for the moment if it makes the turmoil and shitstorm go away that I create around me. 

Kids gone. I’m lost. He’s mad. AGAIN. I’m fault. 

Stay away. They will all be happy. 

That slit again. Against the skin. It is the freedom I live in. Hide it well. Don’t give in. They won’t know. Stay far away again. No hurt, no harm done. You all can smile. I’m out of your sun. 

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“Tears.They just won’t fall. Silence it is. Silence is all. The guilt. The pain. Words can’t begin to explain. ” 

Forcing myself to run through the monotonous motions of the days. 

Some people collect rare coins, or stamps, or ancient antiques.

Some fill their homes with exquisite jewels and vintage vinyl records; hearts swelling with pride as their trophies stagnate among swirling dust motes and the echo of past accolades.

Me, I’m a little different. I collect something infinitely more precious than anything I can buy or trade. I treasure soul mates.

I won’t love you immediately, I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish that I could, but I’m just not made that way. Some of you will never make it through the barriers of my heart. You won’t notice of course; you can’t miss what you have never had, and I don’t fancy myself so very important to your day-to-day life anyway.

I am a little magpie, whose eye is caught by the sparkle of certain souls. You will see me tilt my head to the side, looking at you, smiling through wry lips as I allow myself to see you. And once I do love you, I will move heaven and earth to adore you, no matter what, for as long as you allow me to.

You will never know a love like it.

I will keep you safely in my pocket and protect you fiercely. I will accept all of you: the light and the darkness. If I feel something beautiful in you, I will long to keep you forever. This is a double-edged sword, of course. “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I’m the first to admit that I’m not very good at letting go of my treasured ones when the time comes, even when it is best for us both. Even though I understand that not everyone we meet is destined to be in our lives forever.

Logically, I understand. Emotionally, it hurts like hell.

Grief will render me senseless.

I will weep, and yell and, sometimes, I will behave badly. Forgive me please. Pain will do that to a person. It means that you have had such an impact on my life that I struggle to imagine what shape I will take without you. It means that I do not want to live in a world where we don’t talk everyday, and where your smile doesn’t light up my life on a regular basis.

It means that I don’t feel ready to say goodbye, even though it might be time.

Maybe you came to me because I was struggling, as angels often do, to share the heavy load that weighed on my heart. You wiped my tears away, softly soothed back my hair and let me know that everything would be okay, someday.

Perhaps you came to teach me about myself, about who I really am. To show me how to be strong, how to embrace the natural beauty of our world, and how to use it to inspire my creations. You gave me a piece of yourself to forever reflect within me and I truly love you for that.

I believe that I brought something to your life too; that we changed each other in ways that can never be undone, leaving footprints on each other’s soul to cherish. Yet, it appears we have taught each other all that we can for the moment.

We have shared our last sunset together and our laughter is a memory that resonates fondly in my heart.

This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore, far from it. In fact, we love each other enough to want the other to continue their journey onwards through life, to new adventures and growth, and new soul mates with different lessons—knowing that they can always reach out to us with trembling hands in turbulent times.

Every time we let go, we make space for new and beautiful things to enter our lives. One door closes, and another is waiting to show us to fresh marvels, if we are brave enough to open it.

I am learning to hold on with gratitude to all that I learn from my soul mates, to cherish the time that we shared and to let them go if the time is right, without regret. I realize now that we must love with abandon, giving our hearts fully and freely, even knowing that one day it might hurt us badly.

The fact that love is not guaranteed forever makes it all the more precious.

Let’s treasure that.

JoJo Rawden

Lifted

Posted: April 24, 2015 in Anxiety, Poem, PTSD, relationships, truth
Tags: , ,

Reblogged from “Of life she writes”
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY; now back to shutting the world out. It’s easier to just shut up and stay down when you have a mind like mine.
POEM
Words don’t matter. Get misconstrued. Get shut out. Screw it why bother. No mistrust. No disgust. No accusation. No situation. Tomorrow is another day. Then maybe my character will matter. Until then silence & isolation. I choose the latter.

Of life she writes.

I’m the type of person that takes everything in consideration.

I have this little machine in my head that is always turned on.

Always thinking about the consequences and possible situations.

I want to take people in considerations when I act on something that could possibly affect them.

Lately, I’ve developed this ideology where communication is important to me.

I think that if there’s communication between people, that anything could be possible.

Everything that was once impossible now has endless possibilities.

Endless solutions.

Everything could happen.

Communication opens the door to so many things.

It gives us the opportunity to express ourselves, tell people how we feel, why we feel.

I just..

I’ve come to appreciate it so much even though sometimes it doesn’t always yield the results that I expect or would hope for.

Communication is key for every single relationship whether its familial or romantic.

Talk about things.

View original post 79 more words

Reblogged Honesty from “perfectlyimperfect05”. One of my favorite recent reads. My motto prevails: Honesty is everything.

Perfectly Imperfect

Note: I had a few encouraging comments on my last poem, so I thought I would give it another shot. I am not a poet by nature (I don’t think). Who the heck knows what I am. I just want to write. LOL Your feedback is most appreciated. Enjoy!

So pure and untainted, it’s truth, undefiled

It can be difficult and it can be effortless

It can bring great peace and it can bring chaos

It can mend a broken heart and it can destruct in a single blow

It’s delicate and strong, and those that don’t want it are usually scared of it

It is something that can be so beautiful and so ugly at the same time

It is something I would want to have over the darkness of a lie

It can be just as harsh as its counterpart and just as unyielding

But it can be…

View original post 35 more words

Small Moments

Posted: February 28, 2015 in Memories, Poem

Sometimes you never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a mere memory. -Unknown