Archive for the ‘Personality’ Category

Stay put don’t cut. Stay put don’t drink.

Don’t drive or wreck. 

Just be still & let it pass. 

Write it out…….I hate myself. Ruin the good creating unnecessary hurt. No therapy for going on almost 3months? Maybe. Yeah so I tried as much as I could. They said no. 

honest. Calm. Quiet. Genuinely tried. Failure. 

Wanting to cut. Hard. Harder than the last. Embarrassed. Ashamed. What happened to my strength? 

Stupid. “Insane.” Will never be good enough again. This is it, Me. 

The alcohol will make it numb. Not worth the risk. Wait is it. Maybe for the moment if it makes the turmoil and shitstorm go away that I create around me. 

Kids gone. I’m lost. He’s mad. AGAIN. I’m fault. 

Stay away. They will all be happy. 

That slit again. Against the skin. It is the freedom I live in. Hide it well. Don’t give in. They won’t know. Stay far away again. No hurt, no harm done. You all can smile. I’m out of your sun. 

Anxiety Girl

Ocassionaly this is me. So accurately. Praying hard for no more than God’s grace & mercy. Deep breath. No less, it shall all pass.”-mistakenldy

dragonloyalty

This is an award for the loyal fan/commenter, whether the recipient is a fellow blogger or just someone who follows and comments regularly.  I am very humbled to be nominated by Chelise at Caterpillar To Butterfly. I am blessed to have Chelise as a friend 🙂

In turn here are my nominees:

1. amusingmyselfmusings

2. A Strawberry Pushes Through Insanity

3. Survivor Scrapbook

4. abbiegrrl’s recovery blog

5. betternotbroken

6. Souldier Girl | Poetry from a heart on fire

THE RULES:

  • DISPLAY THE AWARD CERTIFICATE ON YOUR WEBSITE
  • ANNOUNCE YOUR WIN WITH A POST AND LINK TO WHOEVER PRESENTED YOUR AWARD
  • PRESENT 5 AWARDS TO DESERVING BLOGGERS
  • DROP THEM A COMMENT TO TIP THEM OFF AFTER YOU’VE LINKED THEM IN THE POST
  • POST 7 INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF.

Here are my 7 facts about me:

1. I am survivor of Domestic Violence, rape, physical & mental abuse.

2. I love the Patriots! Can’t wait for football season to start again.

3. My Grandmother is my hero.

4. I love all genres of music, Yanni being one of my favorites (go ahead laugh & judge me hahaha)

5. I’m an introvert.

6. I have never known who my father is.

7. My birth mother was an alcoholic and a junkie, no one knew she was pregnant until I was being delivered in my Grandparents upstairs apartment by my Grandfather.

  

quotes_others_opinion_001

-unknown

“You are ridiculously in charge of your life.”- Henry Cloud

  

drew-happinessNatural and Real

Everyday is a new day, choosing to smile and see the positive in all things is difficult for me at times but I am choosing to be happy. (Drew Barrymore is my favorite actress too) If there is one thing I know about myself is I don’t like ordinary. It’s ok but I would rather be around the unique, the odd, the different people in life and be myself.

“Imperfect in many ways but growing day after day.”-mistakenldy

Hope this post brings a smile and moment of happiness to the face of each who reads it 🙂

I am so in the mindset of a male in many ways, there are moments when I wonder if I’m crazy. Is it really possible to be this open minded? Black and white? Boxes for thoughts for lack of better explanation.

Women are sensitive and emotional creatures. Yes. I am one too no discredit to that. In my daily struggles with PTSD, Anxiety, ADHD, depression & BPD traits there is still this one place where I KNOW truth. I have made mistakes but thinking overkill in certain important people in my current life isn’t one of them.

Women have this unintentional way of taking things ao very wrong and blowing it all out of proportion. At times myself included. No buts. No excuses. It’s just reality. However, it is extremely difficult and hurtful when it feels to me like drama. I try to remember each person for who they are and have shown themselves to be. What their daily struggles are and not discount that. Give grace and patience no matter how hard at the moment.

I choose to take responsibility for my faults. Correct my wrongs. Make a mistake ONE time not over & over. But I will refuse to if it’s not true. It pushes me away but I will win the battle and not give up reminding myself I am true to my word with actions shown.

God please grant me the wisdom and patience I need as well as all others dealing with situations of their own today.