Archive for the ‘Lessons’ Category

Such an awesome read!! 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/06/there-is-something-liberating-about-letting-god-write-your-story/
Amen! Lord I give it all to you. You are in total control & I have complete faith in Your plan not my own. I will not rely on my own understandings, only what You show & tell me. Only on Your guidance.

Very interesting article. “Do not conform to the ways of this world” 1st piece of scripture that came to my head just now after reading this.

<a href=”http://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/07/10-signs-its-time-to-let-someone-go/”>http://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/07/10-signs-its-time-to-let-someone-go/</a&gt;

Someone who lies with a smile and a smooth voice is a liar just the same.

https://anewperspectiveperhaps.wordpress.com/2016/03/02/deception/
Sometimes. Sometimes. There is a wolf among the pack with an entire plan we are all so naive to. The history of destruction. The cycles of separation, confusion, tearing all good apart creating bad. God is the only light. So we all may know there must be a blessing coming from all the deception. He always has a plan. Thank you God Almighty for placing me right where you wanted & needed me to be, to see it all. Half of the fight, sometimes more than half for some, we fight  with Mental Health/Illness is the perspectives & perceptions inside our heads or the ones we innocently allow as good souls to be placed there. Thankful today for the guidance, wisdom, and patience He is giving me. 

My safe place is honesty. My safe place is right here. 

It’s come to the point of defeat. Life has hit ground zero and for whatever reason, I’m numb. Deactivation, seclusion, isolation is best for me. Checking out-literally from social existence. I’m praying for all those dealing with their struggles, valleys, depths of despair and moments of sunshine. Hang on to those sun shines; because they are what is going to pull us through the darkness. 

My health is struggling badly. Physically worse than mentally. I’m not looking for pity, not looking for anything honestly just need to have my one safe place, wordpress it is! No judgements no misunderstanding, no room for failure here right? Each and everyone of us bloggers especially mental health junkies, well, we get to hide behind a screen but accept and understand one another all just the same. I’ve missed blogging but haven’t been able to put my chaotic thoughts into words (obviously) for one to begin to understand so I just bottled it all up. And cut. Yeah I’m a cutter. Finally I have to admit it to myself. 

Damnit I want a mom, a dad, just one frieken person that doesn’t come conditionally. Trying to be a perfect person is exhausting especially when you know how broken physically and mentally you are. Trying to remind myself I was once really happy. Once super strong. Once not too long ago wasn’t plagued and had a chance at a future, maybe a family of my own since I certainly was robbed of that from the start. Now it’s all impossible. I’m tainted & can only thank God for my kids, and I guess the breath in my lungs. 

Tomorrow has got to be a better day. It has to be. It’s not possible to be a screw-up forever is it? Who knows maybe no longer existing socially for awhile will be cleansing. I was once told, “When you are not wanted, there is no longer need for your existence.” Choosing to love yourself through the shame and defeat is the hardest thing to do, but I refuse to die even though I may cry. Taking my life is not going to accomplish anything. 

Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be. It just has to be. 

  
“Love” is a strong word. It’s easy when it’s real. Genuine. Honest. It’s OBVIOUS, not confusing. Trust. Transparency. 

Not the opposite. 

  

  

Reblogged from The Conflict Analysis Blog:

P-personal and social responsibility Take control and responsibility for your actions, and work daily on personal development.

R-respect for others and self-discipline- You should have emotional stability, treat others with mutual respect, and live a healthy lifestyle.

I-integrity, ethics, & leadership- Display a high level of integrity in your life, work to improve the world around you, and develop personal leadership skills.

D-diversity and community- Engage the community, understand the cultural diversity of the population, and demonstrates the knowledge, skills, and abilities to engage with the ever-increasing world we live in.

E-expression and free exchange- Always be open to dialogue and free expression, remain open-minded, and strive to improve your critical and integrative thinking skills.”
This is an important concept to forever remind oneself of. Humility is a daily practice. I will always follow the pact to myself and God not hesitating to admit when I am at fault no matter how hard it is.

“Honesty is everything. Growth is the necessity.” – mistakenldy

The Conflict Analysis Blog

I will be the first to admit I am not perfect. I am stubborn, set in my ways, have a low tolerance for stupidity, dislike people with a lack of common sense, and liars. I try to live my life with dignity, and display a moral and ethical behavior I could look back on and feel good about when I die. However, I have let my pride get in my way of admitting when I am wrong or when I refuse to be challenged on a particular issue. How many times have you had a “discussion” with your significant other, co-worker, or boss, and you refused to give in, knowing there was a possibility you were in the wrong.

What is pride? I found a great definition from a Hofstra University student who was a key member of student engagement in and out of the classroom during their college career.

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Relationship Truth

There is always one.  One day. maybe. We all will have the chance again. 

Living with mental illness, surviving all the traumas. Odds seems so much less, everything in my world shattered. All because of me. Trying to see the light. The positivity. Grateful for the good, because there is. So much to smile about. 

Day by day, moment after moment. Praying. Doing the right thing. Solitude. Silence. Focus and growing while enduring the pain with a smile. Learning from each mistake made. Each experience, whether good or bad. Trying with all the might I have,  to be a better person. So this never happens again. Recover. Learn again. Push the pain away. Will it ever end?