Archive for the ‘Domestic Abuse’ Category

Originally Posted on MINDS LIKE OURS :

I found this website below to have a lot of useful worksheets: Tons of Therapy Worksheets are located here

Source: Worksheets

 

 

Some people collect rare coins, or stamps, or ancient antiques.

Some fill their homes with exquisite jewels and vintage vinyl records; hearts swelling with pride as their trophies stagnate among swirling dust motes and the echo of past accolades.

Me, I’m a little different. I collect something infinitely more precious than anything I can buy or trade. I treasure soul mates.

I won’t love you immediately, I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish that I could, but I’m just not made that way. Some of you will never make it through the barriers of my heart. You won’t notice of course; you can’t miss what you have never had, and I don’t fancy myself so very important to your day-to-day life anyway.

I am a little magpie, whose eye is caught by the sparkle of certain souls. You will see me tilt my head to the side, looking at you, smiling through wry lips as I allow myself to see you. And once I do love you, I will move heaven and earth to adore you, no matter what, for as long as you allow me to.

You will never know a love like it.

I will keep you safely in my pocket and protect you fiercely. I will accept all of you: the light and the darkness. If I feel something beautiful in you, I will long to keep you forever. This is a double-edged sword, of course. “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I’m the first to admit that I’m not very good at letting go of my treasured ones when the time comes, even when it is best for us both. Even though I understand that not everyone we meet is destined to be in our lives forever.

Logically, I understand. Emotionally, it hurts like hell.

Grief will render me senseless.

I will weep, and yell and, sometimes, I will behave badly. Forgive me please. Pain will do that to a person. It means that you have had such an impact on my life that I struggle to imagine what shape I will take without you. It means that I do not want to live in a world where we don’t talk everyday, and where your smile doesn’t light up my life on a regular basis.

It means that I don’t feel ready to say goodbye, even though it might be time.

Maybe you came to me because I was struggling, as angels often do, to share the heavy load that weighed on my heart. You wiped my tears away, softly soothed back my hair and let me know that everything would be okay, someday.

Perhaps you came to teach me about myself, about who I really am. To show me how to be strong, how to embrace the natural beauty of our world, and how to use it to inspire my creations. You gave me a piece of yourself to forever reflect within me and I truly love you for that.

I believe that I brought something to your life too; that we changed each other in ways that can never be undone, leaving footprints on each other’s soul to cherish. Yet, it appears we have taught each other all that we can for the moment.

We have shared our last sunset together and our laughter is a memory that resonates fondly in my heart.

This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore, far from it. In fact, we love each other enough to want the other to continue their journey onwards through life, to new adventures and growth, and new soul mates with different lessons—knowing that they can always reach out to us with trembling hands in turbulent times.

Every time we let go, we make space for new and beautiful things to enter our lives. One door closes, and another is waiting to show us to fresh marvels, if we are brave enough to open it.

I am learning to hold on with gratitude to all that I learn from my soul mates, to cherish the time that we shared and to let them go if the time is right, without regret. I realize now that we must love with abandon, giving our hearts fully and freely, even knowing that one day it might hurt us badly.

The fact that love is not guaranteed forever makes it all the more precious.

Let’s treasure that.

JoJo Rawden

Reblogging this perfect quote that touched my soul & deep in my heart at the very moment I needed to read it most. Hope this touches any one that needs it too. X

tellingheavysecrets

Today’s chosen quote is one from my favourite Sufi poet. His words give me comfort on many a day. They soothe the places deep inside that hurt.

the wound

This is a profound quote which for me means that the places I am most wounded contain also the seeds of my liberation.

They are a way back to myself! We have to face our past and the demons that we have within us, in whatever shape or form they are. Once we have the courage to decide to do this, we become liberated from all the shame and the pull of the past and are able to allow the light in.

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In our world (battling w/ mental illness) those of use who have survived a suicide attempt; knowing deeply what it means, wanting, believing no longer existing is the only thing that will stop the pain. Not only of oneself but those around us. An unfortunate reality. This innate darkness. It. Is real. 
Friends are a blessing. True, genuine friends are a must. Loved ones. A must. Unconditional love, no question asked. No word too hard. Too much. All a definite must. This is what people like me need. Bringing us back to surface. 

We get to this place of darkness for one or many reasons (triggers if you may) that feel, seem, believe are unbearable. They are not. 

It. 

Is. 

Real. 

Stress can only be held inside, buried so deep, until it surfaces & erupts. 
For awhile I have pondered the perplexity of my loved ones happiness in excess of my own nonexistence. Feeling it would be vast. Abundant. This is not true. I had to have a reality check once again in order to NOT completely lose myself. 

So here it is:

I’ve had so much loss in death around me over the last several months. Over abundance of stress. BUT. Key word here. BUT. My children, God’s beautiful children He blessed me w/ on earth; they NEED me. They love me.  A roof over our heads.  A new running, reliable vehicle when there was no light for the truck driven before Monday. My Grandmother. The most selfless, honorable woman on this planet. Loving & excepting me as I am. A team in med school much needed to get through this mentally challenging chapter to reach the ultimate goal. Friends. Real true friends that care, respect, unjudging of my flaws. And last but definitely NOT least a partner. A man to share the smiles, laughter, pain, sweat, tears & adventure of life with. Each of us pray and/or hope for these treasures in our days of life at one point or another. I have been blessed. 

Last night I broke. It took too much out of me. I fell down. Weak. Dispared. My boyfriend; he helped me. Saved my life not even knowing. I had a plan. It made sense. Eliminate myself from the painful equation & all will be well for those closest to my heart. No more me dissapointing them. Making the wrong decisions. Saying & doing the wrong things at the wrong times. They would have peace b/c I would no longer be in order for there to be issue. Of any kind. 
The sweet innocent eyes of my children, the encouraging words of my little girl, “Momma I love you & you ARE perfect.” The man that reminds me daily of his depth, sincerity & honor of me as his woman. My person, not another can compare or begin to understand the bond & connection she & I have reminding me she loves me & cant exist without me. Friends. Male and female, Iron Maidens being the life line at the darkest lowest moments enforcing they have seen my strength. “I wont’t accept that as an option, you killing yourself.”my dear friend said today.  “Don’t even think that!” boyfriend said to me last night. 

It all is what save me from giving up. Saved me from my demons. Taking my life….oh how easy it would have been but the aftermath? The aftermath…..no one deserved. Therefore I chose to live.

Well, it’s been a long few months. Very trying at times some more than others. Finally! Got in for my meds appointment.

Starting on Wellbutrin and Buspar as of today. Looking for thoughts, perspectives, input. Anyone? Throw it at me please.

This is supposed to help with depression, anxiety, & insomnia. All of my battles & diagnoses steming from PTSD & severe lengths of trauma. Just want to know what others have taken these for & how it helped or didn’t help 🙂 thanks for reading & giving me your thoughts my wordpress people!

Moments to remind ourselves when we are low. “She” can be replaced with “He” for all you guys too

So very true. Getting back to the me I am supposed to be now.

This is spot on to the emotional & mental abuse I endured for years. Learning all of the aspects listed in this post were important when I was healing. Escaping the aftermath takes much longer than majority of people realize. Please take time to read this post and open your minds to further understand domestic violence survivors & how our brains function after trauma. Hoping this helps others understand, gives the hope needed to anyone in these current situations 🙂

GentleKindness

Inherent to being in any type of abusive relationship, is the illusion. The illusion is the false reality which the abuser feeds to the victim. The victim accepts this reality for a few reasons, mainly in an attempt to protect their own sanity.

The reality was fed to the victim through the use of brainwashing tactics. At first the controlling party gave the subordinate the feeling that they had control and that they were making their own choices. The abuser gave them a false sense of confidence and safety in the relationship.

This false confidence came in the form of praise and the appearance of concern for the victim. The abuser put the victim on a pedestal and made them feel that they were needed. The abuser may have acted as though they were actually the one that was in the position of submission to the victim.

The abuser…

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It’s been nearly 7weeks no meds. At first I was excited because the last medication made me sick all the time, made me emotional, made the anxiety so much worse. The headaches were becoming unbareable without Advil Liquigels nearly every day. I thought, “wow I’ve come such a long way all the hard work paid off!”

Oook NO! Now I’ve had court slammed in my face all over again, a new diagnosis on top of the others I already had, overcame, and currently manage day by day, in addition to surgery coming up. The doctors can’t seem to communicate fast enough in the same office not even 100ft from one another.

Here I sit & wait. Following up every day to other day. Still going to therapy. Still staying positive. The anxiety attacks, the nightmares coming and going. I feel like a total asshole because of the frustration & everyone around me is affected. Trying my best to stay focused, take responsibility, keep praying, and well of course…..I have the beach. The sand to sit on and the pounding of the waves slowing things down internally while I listen.

Hope for those dealing with and going through the rough times this can help you know you’re not alone. We have to remember, “this too shall pass”.