Nauseated

Posted: March 16, 2015 in Memories, PTSD, relationships

The horrible, disgusting, awful feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when this feeling of untruth is lingering around you. It’s overwhelming. It hurts. Literally wishing you could just vomit & pray it would be violently enough to make it o away. Signs, words, expressions of deceit in your face. Coming in waves but being told “no, that’s not the case. It’s not who I am. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Then it goes away until the next action, spoken word, sign happens again. Why is it so hard for people to be real? Why can’t they care enough about how it destroys me to just be honest? Why? Why? Why? 

What did I do to deserve this? Who cares if it hurts to hear harsh words. Just say them & let me move on. Pain is only temporary when we are given the chance to accept what truly is, give forgiveness, and move forward. 

Makes you feel crazy inside physically, mentally like you’ve lost grip. Not knowing what is real. What is fake. Who is true and who isn’t. 

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Comments
  1. shybuttcheeky says:

    not going to ‘ like’ this post but wanted to acknowledge its being read. Sorry you are going through this

    Like

  2. magicallymad says:

    I have found dishonesty in my now defunct career, I find that people are deliberately dishonest when you are vulnerable because they don’t know how to deal with vulnerability. Often they are covering their backs. The lack of caring & insincerity ruined my career. I don’t know what to do with myself. That might make a decent blog entry. Thank you for the inspiration. I hope you find more sincerity in your future relationships! Thanks for a great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistakenldy says:

      All we can do is continue to be good people standing firm in the honesty we offer knowing it may not be given back. Glad to be of inspiration 🙂 I am experiencing what it’s like to be given sincerity & transparent honesty now. It’s hard at times because I’m used to the opposite but it’s great and makes my soul smile 🙂

      Like

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