First impressions are lasting. Made apparent moreso by some then others. Judgement is passed regardless of circumstance & time. People will SHOW you how they feel without saying it to your face in words. Their actions are the first indicator yet sometimes, cowards not wanting to verbalize (literally speak the words of truth inside) for many reasons. My strength and ability to accept real vs. fake is infathomable to many. I however consider this to be greatness. I see with all the senses. Just because an individual is given forgiveness never means something has been forgotten. Never mistake kindness for weakness. Never mistake silence for ignorance. Yes, this is redundant. And? Why waste a breath, let alone, effort in action to SHOW someone how much disrespect resides within you for another? People never cease to amaze me. The truth is hard to swallow or “accept” as some say. The truth is hard for some to speak, live, breathe, act. I’d rather do the right thing to correct a wrong being honest & true, through & through then do the wrong thing & be remembered as a coward and a fake. Humility is for the strong. Respect is expected when its given. As a woman in today’s society; I don’t give many people in general the opportunity to come into my home, my life, my heart. When you judge before you know; take a good look in the mirror. You may have just been that one special person. Now your nobody.

Physically, emotionally, and/or mentally abused people are unconscious of the walls they build around their souls in survival mode. Thus, causing the good to run, leaving false perceptions of the unique, amazing, & admirable individual in front of them, right from “hello”.

The one way to avoid confusion, disrespect, misunderstanding, assumptions in anothers’ character is to give them a “chance”. A real chance. Black and white just as a black board is to chalk. Tansparent. HONESTY. Deep, unhidden perception HONESTY. It keeps all minds clear, leaves no room for assumptions or wrong perceptions of another. Give each individual a chance based on who THEY are, not what anyone else or everyone even, has shown you. Take the “chance”, be different, do the right thing. No matter how hard. The outcome=shocking positive results and a huge sigh of relief. Hope given from one individual to another. Happiness. A new way in life to interact with all other human beings. Renewed mindset. Clarity.

No grey area. Ever. IT WORKS!

  1. Reblogged this on surviving the specter and commented:
    Read this very transparent post by a survivor of domestic violence and a warrior through PTSD. Powerful. Insightful. Thank you for letting down your barriers and letting us into your life, mistakenldy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great post. Also when you are used to honesty in yourself then you will have an easier time telling honest people from abusive narcissists. A narcissist will tell you one thing and then change what they said later on.

    They will tell you that they certain things are priorities and then act in ways that show that they were not telling the truth.

    When they say one thing but act a different way, this is a red flag.
    When they say one thing and then seem to say something completely different another day, this is a red flag.

    Even of they try to give you some reframed kind of excuse for their behavior…if their behavior makes you feel confused…then watch out.

    None of us ever need to be abused in this twisted way again.
    Honesty for us and expect honesty from your partner. NO confusing communication.

    Stay safe and protect your brain..and I will do the same 🙂
    Much love,

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistakenldy says:

      Thank you the much needed reminder Annie 🙂
      IT’S REALLY SIMPLE I THINK: RESPECT THE OTHER PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU ENOUGH TO GIVE THEM THE CHANCE TO MAKE A DECISION ABOUT WHETHER THEY WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH YOU. BE IT FRIEND, INTIMATE PARTNER, FAMILY MEMBER ETC. Give me the opportunity to say if I want to deal with something or can handle it or if I can’t. No different than warning labels. It doesn’t need to be aired to anyone else, it just needs to be respect shown when it’s given.
      People SHOW you who they are it’s a matter of whether we want to see it. I came to realize a few years ago that I had to relearn the ability to see through the grey areas because even now I experience daily, people don’t want to say what they REALLY feel, think, do etc. It’s baffling to my mind because it literally halts happiness. In abusive or toxic relationships that is the objective of the abuser. What baffles and twists my brain into knots the MOST is that if each of us could remember, “What would I want done or said to me in order to avoid confusion & hurt?”, we would be able to function better as good souled people.
      False hope is the worst waste of time and energy. Knowing how to listen to your instincts is very challenging after abuse like we have endured. It comes in time I am learning and with the right person who truly WANTS you to know they are different(or not so RUN lol), transparent honesty rolls off their tongue and body like water on a duck. I practice this as well as expect the same in return; not all people unfortunately are accustomed to their confidants being so accepting of such rawness so it can be learning process for all parties.
      My goal in life is to instill this in my children and hopefully other survivors and people that I care for deeply.
      Protecting our brains and our bodies is key especially after surviving the destruction and overcoming the aftermath. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Means a lot 🙂


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